Post by Mark Cannon on Sept 5, 2009 17:47:21 GMT -5
I think it’s about 9 and I am not drunk enough to hear Vi sing. But it doesn't matter if you’re not prepared for a hurricane. Shit’s gonna come. Children will run. Buildings will burn. Okay, I guess buildings wouldn’t burn if there was a hurricane but my point is made: Never go into a bar with karaoke with my sister. It will only end pain. On a sidenote, I need better metaphors.
“Mark, I think I’m gonna sing!”
“Really……… Aren’t you…. Ya know……tired?”
She picks up the song book and starts poking through. I need a shot.
“Oh! I love this song! I’m gonna do it! You grab a table.”
“Listen, I was at the gym all day. Can't I just go home?”
“NO! There’s someone I need you to meet.”
I grab a table and order a beer. There’s a blonde guy in a blue striped shirt butchering “Hungry Like the Wolf” as my sister stands ready to add to the misery. I take a look around the room. Just for the hell of it, I wonder who I’m supposed to meet. The GM? Maybe a fan. Vi does love setting up meetings with fans. I remember one time when….oh God. Blue-striped shirt is gone. Vi is here.
Back Row
Honor Roll
Ahead of the class
Of course she had to sing The Donnas. The kind of chick rock that gets stuck in your head and doesn’t get unstuck until Hell freezes over. Which I hope happens before Friday.
Bad Weather
Let’s Get Together
I Never Wait in Line
Great. Now she’s entered tramp mode. Who said singing for erections had to be a paying job? Maybe if she keeps this up I won't have to wrestle anymore.
So what's your name,
New kid in school?
Tell me something,
Do you feel lonely?
Come sit next to me
Tell me honey,
Do you feel lonely?
Come get closer to me
“Are you…Mark Cannon?”
“Uh Yeah…”
Dark mysterious stranger? Did she set me up with a serial killer? Wouldn't be the first time….
“Good to meet you. Lance Copeland. I’m a superstar at FCW.”
We shake hands, sit down and exchange an awkward silence. I down my beer and attempt a conversation. Oh and sidenote: Need to drink slower. Stomach isn't what it used to be.
“Really? Uh…good to meet you. I’m Mark. Mark Cannon. But you already knew that. Ummmm…..how did you know that?”
“Vi told me to look for the one guy that wasn’t….enjoying her performance.”
“Right….”
It ain't that bad
You know it really ain't that bad
You can't avoid it
Might as well enjoy it
Cuz I do
While you're the new kid in school!
“Sorry you have to endure this.”
“Oh I don't mind it. So, what’s your story?”
“Well, we just moved here from Boston where I was wrestling with TDW (Total Destruction Wrestling) and that was all well and good before FCW came calling. To be honest I’m a bit nervous here. And when I say nervous I mean puking in my hotel room but don't tell Vi. Back at TDW I was top dog. The champ. Now I’m new meat. It always sucks to be the new guy. Especially now that I’m in the big leagues. I mean I got all the way from church basements to arenas so I guess…..not bad for a dropout right? And now I’m spilling my guts to a complete stranger and….and…"
Lance is watching the stage as Vi shrieks her way through the last verse. Well he’s a guy. I wonder when he stopped listening.
“You know she always had a way with men. She always had a way with everyone. She can see into anyone. She’s the most aware person but easily the least self-aware. And even you can’t hear me right now…."
My cell goes off. I check the Caller ID. Lindsey. Oh God it’s Lindsey…
“Sorry, Lance I need to take this.”
“No problem.”
Tell me something
Do you feel lonely?
I run outside and look at my still-ringing phone. Lindsey.
Answer. Don’t answer. Answer. Don’t Answer. Answer. Don’t Answer….Answer.
“Hello? Hello?”
Fuck. Sidenote: Be more decisive when taking calls.
I take a few steps back and lean against the wall. Breath in. Breath out. FUUUUUCK! FUUUUUCK! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck….
“Fuck.”
Sidenote: Swear less.
Alright pull it together and walk back in inside. I go back into the bar and there Vi practically crawling over Lance. I might have exaggerated that, but she’s drinking. And he’s male. Two things that have never gone well together.
“Mark! There you are. Where did you run off too?”
“Nothing. Just had to take a call.”
“Well, I have some good news. Lance here has agreed to train you. Isn't that exciting?”
"Uh...yeah sure. If you don't mind the deadweight."
"Don't listen to a word he says. You know, Mark was a world champion at TZW and he was UNdefeated at BCW."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and I got fired from both."
Vi shoots me a look and another awkward silence passes through the table.
“Are you alright? You look kinda sweaty.”
“No I’m fine. I swear.”
“Who called?”
“Wrong number.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She snatches the phone out of my hands and checks the call log. Her face goes pale.
“Lance, I need to talk to Mark. Just some business….”
She takes me by the arm and leads me out of the bar.
“Why is Lindsey calling you?”
“I don't know. I didn’t pick up.”
“Good. Never answer. Lindsey is something we’re going to keep in the past where it belongs.”
“Vi, I….”
“It wasn’t your fault, Mark.”
“Who said it was? How could it possibly be my fault! And now you’ve brought out this Lance guy as what? Your new boy toy? A trainer? What do you think you’re doing we don't know him from Adam.”
“Well, you better get to know him quick. He’s your tag partner.”
“Really….against who?”
“Evan Bourne and The Don.”
“Really?”
“Can you win?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Scared?”
“…hell yeah.”
“Don’t be. You know who you are, right?
“Yeah.”
“So what’s your name?”
So what's your name, new kid in school? Fuck it's already in my head.
“...I’m Mark Cannon…bitches.”
Sidenote: Must come up with more intimidating one-liners.
“Mark, I think I’m gonna sing!”
“Really……… Aren’t you…. Ya know……tired?”
She picks up the song book and starts poking through. I need a shot.
“Oh! I love this song! I’m gonna do it! You grab a table.”
“Listen, I was at the gym all day. Can't I just go home?”
“NO! There’s someone I need you to meet.”
I grab a table and order a beer. There’s a blonde guy in a blue striped shirt butchering “Hungry Like the Wolf” as my sister stands ready to add to the misery. I take a look around the room. Just for the hell of it, I wonder who I’m supposed to meet. The GM? Maybe a fan. Vi does love setting up meetings with fans. I remember one time when….oh God. Blue-striped shirt is gone. Vi is here.
Back Row
Honor Roll
Ahead of the class
Of course she had to sing The Donnas. The kind of chick rock that gets stuck in your head and doesn’t get unstuck until Hell freezes over. Which I hope happens before Friday.
Bad Weather
Let’s Get Together
I Never Wait in Line
Great. Now she’s entered tramp mode. Who said singing for erections had to be a paying job? Maybe if she keeps this up I won't have to wrestle anymore.
So what's your name,
New kid in school?
Tell me something,
Do you feel lonely?
Come sit next to me
Tell me honey,
Do you feel lonely?
Come get closer to me
“Are you…Mark Cannon?”
“Uh Yeah…”
Dark mysterious stranger? Did she set me up with a serial killer? Wouldn't be the first time….
“Good to meet you. Lance Copeland. I’m a superstar at FCW.”
We shake hands, sit down and exchange an awkward silence. I down my beer and attempt a conversation. Oh and sidenote: Need to drink slower. Stomach isn't what it used to be.
“Really? Uh…good to meet you. I’m Mark. Mark Cannon. But you already knew that. Ummmm…..how did you know that?”
“Vi told me to look for the one guy that wasn’t….enjoying her performance.”
“Right….”
It ain't that bad
You know it really ain't that bad
You can't avoid it
Might as well enjoy it
Cuz I do
While you're the new kid in school!
“Sorry you have to endure this.”
“Oh I don't mind it. So, what’s your story?”
“Well, we just moved here from Boston where I was wrestling with TDW (Total Destruction Wrestling) and that was all well and good before FCW came calling. To be honest I’m a bit nervous here. And when I say nervous I mean puking in my hotel room but don't tell Vi. Back at TDW I was top dog. The champ. Now I’m new meat. It always sucks to be the new guy. Especially now that I’m in the big leagues. I mean I got all the way from church basements to arenas so I guess…..not bad for a dropout right? And now I’m spilling my guts to a complete stranger and….and…"
Lance is watching the stage as Vi shrieks her way through the last verse. Well he’s a guy. I wonder when he stopped listening.
“You know she always had a way with men. She always had a way with everyone. She can see into anyone. She’s the most aware person but easily the least self-aware. And even you can’t hear me right now…."
My cell goes off. I check the Caller ID. Lindsey. Oh God it’s Lindsey…
“Sorry, Lance I need to take this.”
“No problem.”
Tell me something
Do you feel lonely?
I run outside and look at my still-ringing phone. Lindsey.
Answer. Don’t answer. Answer. Don’t Answer. Answer. Don’t Answer….Answer.
“Hello? Hello?”
Fuck. Sidenote: Be more decisive when taking calls.
I take a few steps back and lean against the wall. Breath in. Breath out. FUUUUUCK! FUUUUUCK! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck….
“Fuck.”
Sidenote: Swear less.
Alright pull it together and walk back in inside. I go back into the bar and there Vi practically crawling over Lance. I might have exaggerated that, but she’s drinking. And he’s male. Two things that have never gone well together.
“Mark! There you are. Where did you run off too?”
“Nothing. Just had to take a call.”
“Well, I have some good news. Lance here has agreed to train you. Isn't that exciting?”
"Uh...yeah sure. If you don't mind the deadweight."
"Don't listen to a word he says. You know, Mark was a world champion at TZW and he was UNdefeated at BCW."
"Really?"
"Yeah, and I got fired from both."
Vi shoots me a look and another awkward silence passes through the table.
“Are you alright? You look kinda sweaty.”
“No I’m fine. I swear.”
“Who called?”
“Wrong number.”
“I don’t believe you.”
She snatches the phone out of my hands and checks the call log. Her face goes pale.
“Lance, I need to talk to Mark. Just some business….”
She takes me by the arm and leads me out of the bar.
“Why is Lindsey calling you?”
“I don't know. I didn’t pick up.”
“Good. Never answer. Lindsey is something we’re going to keep in the past where it belongs.”
“Vi, I….”
“It wasn’t your fault, Mark.”
“Who said it was? How could it possibly be my fault! And now you’ve brought out this Lance guy as what? Your new boy toy? A trainer? What do you think you’re doing we don't know him from Adam.”
“Well, you better get to know him quick. He’s your tag partner.”
“Really….against who?”
“Evan Bourne and The Don.”
“Really?”
“Can you win?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Scared?”
“…hell yeah.”
“Don’t be. You know who you are, right?
“Yeah.”
“So what’s your name?”
So what's your name, new kid in school? Fuck it's already in my head.
“...I’m Mark Cannon…bitches.”
Sidenote: Must come up with more intimidating one-liners.
