Post by baronvonbullshit on May 6, 2009 17:09:18 GMT -5
::[[The scene opens up, and the arena is chanting the name of “EFF-SEE-DUBYA” over and over again. Of course this is the standard house show schlock affair, with nobody wrestlers beating each other up in front of a nobody audience but… what does this man care?
He stands behind the curtain and he’s wondering to himself… should I bother? Should I just wait for a match? No…
He smiles. He smiles a toothy, pearly white smile, his snow-white goatee and black soul patch are unmistakable. You know who it is, why should I even say his name?
Okay okay…
Scott Steiner is peeking out of the curtain, the bright, hot white lights catching off of his black sunglasses and glistening off of the chain-mail helm he wears. He’s smiling because it’s the one thing he’s been waiting for in a long, long time.
Showtime.]]::
::[TAZZ]:: “I’ll tell you what, not for nothin’, but this has been an exciting match!”
::[JIM ROSS]:: “Buh gawd what a hoss Wrestler A is! By the way Tazz, what the hell are we doing here?!”
::[TAZZ]:: “Probably to uh, I dunno, listen and react to some guy cutting a promo!”
::[“Suddenly” we hear sirens blasting over the arena accompanied by a familiar, raspy, manly voice.]::
“HOLLA! IF YA HUR ME!”
::[The fans pop huge as Scott Steiner, The Big Bad Booty Daddy, The Freak with a Thousand Peaks et cetera et cetera walks out from behind the curtain, holding a microphone like a tiny banana in his large, masculine hands. He is the absolute glimmer of perfection as he stalks his way down to the ring, where Wrestler A and B hop out excitedly, unsure of how to take the presence of the Genetic Freak.]::
::[TAZZ]:: “HOLY CRAP JAY-AR! THE BIG BAD BOOBY DADDY IS HERE!”
::[JIM ROSS]:: “I think business is aboot to pick up!”
::[TAZZ]:: “Was that a typo?”
::[[Scotty Steiner makes his magnificent entrance into the ring. The Genetic Freak is positively shimmering under the haze of those hot, bright lights. Somewhere in the crowd, Vince Osborn has just popped a massive boner so thick, his dick exploded in his pants.
Big Poppa Pump has that effect on people.]]::
::[“BIG POPPA PUMP” SCOTT STEINER]:: “Hey! Cut my music you production truck faggots!”
::[[Immediately, perhaps in fear of the Big Bad Booty Daddy’s wrath, they indeed cut the music.]]::
::[TAZZ]:: “What does Big Pumpa PUMP have to say here Raws?”
::[JIM ROSS]:: “I dunno but STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE—“
::[[TAZZ slaps the ever-loving SHIT out of Jim Ross.]]::
::[JIM ROSS]:: “Sorry folks, my tourettes are acting up again and I—“
::[“BIG POPPA PUMP” SCOTT STEINER]:: “Hey! You big ol’ fat faggot in the cowboy hat! You shut your damn mouth when the Genetic Freak speaks!”
::[[Jim Ross soils himself, fearing the wrath of the Man with the Largest Arms in the World. Steiner nods, satisfied.]::
::[“BIG POPPA PUMP” SCOTT STEINER]:: “Now listen up, faggots! I’ve got somethin’ ta say to all the boys who think they can run around heah in FCW tinkin’ they man! I want ‘em all ta know that THE GENETIC FREAK, THE MAN WITH THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD, FREAKZILLA HIMSELF Scott Steiner… is ready to accept a challeng! Big Poppa Pump don’t accept a challeng from just any men, but true men! If you think you got wutitakes to go one on one with Big Poppa Pump, do what your little faggoty ass always does, and get in my ring and prepare to be HUMBLED!
… FAGGOT!”
TBC by Whoever
He stands behind the curtain and he’s wondering to himself… should I bother? Should I just wait for a match? No…
He smiles. He smiles a toothy, pearly white smile, his snow-white goatee and black soul patch are unmistakable. You know who it is, why should I even say his name?
Okay okay…
Scott Steiner is peeking out of the curtain, the bright, hot white lights catching off of his black sunglasses and glistening off of the chain-mail helm he wears. He’s smiling because it’s the one thing he’s been waiting for in a long, long time.
Showtime.]]::
::[TAZZ]:: “I’ll tell you what, not for nothin’, but this has been an exciting match!”
::[JIM ROSS]:: “Buh gawd what a hoss Wrestler A is! By the way Tazz, what the hell are we doing here?!”
::[TAZZ]:: “Probably to uh, I dunno, listen and react to some guy cutting a promo!”
::[“Suddenly” we hear sirens blasting over the arena accompanied by a familiar, raspy, manly voice.]::
“HOLLA! IF YA HUR ME!”
::[The fans pop huge as Scott Steiner, The Big Bad Booty Daddy, The Freak with a Thousand Peaks et cetera et cetera walks out from behind the curtain, holding a microphone like a tiny banana in his large, masculine hands. He is the absolute glimmer of perfection as he stalks his way down to the ring, where Wrestler A and B hop out excitedly, unsure of how to take the presence of the Genetic Freak.]::
::[TAZZ]:: “HOLY CRAP JAY-AR! THE BIG BAD BOOBY DADDY IS HERE!”
::[JIM ROSS]:: “I think business is aboot to pick up!”
::[TAZZ]:: “Was that a typo?”
::[[Scotty Steiner makes his magnificent entrance into the ring. The Genetic Freak is positively shimmering under the haze of those hot, bright lights. Somewhere in the crowd, Vince Osborn has just popped a massive boner so thick, his dick exploded in his pants.
Big Poppa Pump has that effect on people.]]::
::[“BIG POPPA PUMP” SCOTT STEINER]:: “Hey! Cut my music you production truck faggots!”
::[[Immediately, perhaps in fear of the Big Bad Booty Daddy’s wrath, they indeed cut the music.]]::
::[TAZZ]:: “What does Big Pumpa PUMP have to say here Raws?”
::[JIM ROSS]:: “I dunno but STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE—“
::[[TAZZ slaps the ever-loving SHIT out of Jim Ross.]]::
::[JIM ROSS]:: “Sorry folks, my tourettes are acting up again and I—“
::[“BIG POPPA PUMP” SCOTT STEINER]:: “Hey! You big ol’ fat faggot in the cowboy hat! You shut your damn mouth when the Genetic Freak speaks!”
::[[Jim Ross soils himself, fearing the wrath of the Man with the Largest Arms in the World. Steiner nods, satisfied.]::
::[“BIG POPPA PUMP” SCOTT STEINER]:: “Now listen up, faggots! I’ve got somethin’ ta say to all the boys who think they can run around heah in FCW tinkin’ they man! I want ‘em all ta know that THE GENETIC FREAK, THE MAN WITH THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD, FREAKZILLA HIMSELF Scott Steiner… is ready to accept a challeng! Big Poppa Pump don’t accept a challeng from just any men, but true men! If you think you got wutitakes to go one on one with Big Poppa Pump, do what your little faggoty ass always does, and get in my ring and prepare to be HUMBLED!
… FAGGOT!”
TBC by Whoever